Every year I struggle to experience the meaning of Christmas in the midst of the chaos.  Last year I discovered this organization.  The idea of giving to a greater cause during this season makes so much sense to me.  Maybe it’s time to take back Christmas from the retailers and marketing consultants.  Maybe it’s time to return to a simpler Christmas with more focus on family, compassion, and grace instead of shopping, spending, and debt.

I think that adventconspiracy.org is really onto something!  Also, check out this gift catalog from World Vision.

♦ ♦ ♦

I discovered this creative video on youtube over the weekend.  What would you do if you found yourself in the middle of an improv musical while sitting in a food court? 

 BANNED FROM WAL-MART…

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women – she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local

Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Gilbert

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Gilbert are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras .

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking..

2.. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals..

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom..

4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares… Get on it right away.’

5.. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department…

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least…

15… October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’

Sincerely,

Wal-Mart 

Life is full of surprises so when you experience failure (and you will) don’t ever give up–you never know what may be just around the corner.  These are great examples of people who turned their failures into success–people who continued to push forward.

When we see the success of others, we usually don’t realize they spent years preparing, experimenting, failing, etc. 

Success is never final, failure is never fatal.  It’s courage that counts.

~John Wooden

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4-years-old and did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was “sub-normal,” and one of his teachers described him as “mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams.” He was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. He did eventually learn to speak and read. Even to do a little math. Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded.

Rocket scientist Robert Goddard found his ideas bitterly rejected by his scientific peers on the grounds that rocket propulsion would not work in the rarefied atmosphere of outer space.

Michael Jordan and Bob Cousy were each cut from their high school basketball teams. Jordan once observed, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed.”

Babe Ruth is famous for his past home run record, but for decades he also held the record for strikeouts. He hit 714 home runs and struck out 1,330 times in his career (about which he said, “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.”). And didn’t Mark McGwire break that strikeout record? (John Wooden once explained that winners make the most errors.)

Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” He went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland. In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim on the grounds that it would only attract riffraff.

Charles Schultz had every cartoon he submitted rejected by his high school yearbook staff. Oh, and Walt Disney wouldn’t hire him.

When Lucille Ball began studying to be actress in 1927, she was told by the head instructor of the John Murray Anderson Drama School, “Try any other profession.”

The first time Jerry Seinfeld walked on-stage at a comedy club as a professional comic, he looked out at the audience, froze, and forgot the English language. He stumbled through “a minute-and a half” of material and was jeered offstage. He returned the following night and closed his set to wild applause.

In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency, told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, “You’d better learn secretarial work or else get married.” I’m sure you know that Norma Jean was Marilyn Monroe. Now . . . who was Emmeline Snively?

In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired Elvis Presley after one performance. He told Presley, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.”

A Paris art dealer refused Picasso shelter when he asked if he could bring in his paintings from out of the rain. One hopes that there is justice in this world and that the art dealer eventually went broke.

Van Gogh sold only one painting during his life. And this to the sister of one of his friends for 400 francs (approximately $50). This didn’t stop him from completing over 800 paintings.

27 publishers rejected Dr. Seuss’s first book, To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street.

If you like these examples, check out this reference.

Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly.

~John F. Kennedy

I’ve been thinking lately about personal responsibility and discovered some great information at livestrong.com.   This web resource has a lot to say–check it out!

For some this is common sense but for others it challenges the core of their belief system.  At one extreme, some spend their lives being a perpetual victim.  They blame others for their poor choices and decisions instead of taking responsibility and trying to change their circumstances.   On the other extreme, others take more responsibility than they should, blaming themselves for the actions of people over which they have no control.  Both extremes are unhealthy.   

Many things occur in life that are out of our control.  In fact, control is really an illusion.  How we handle each situation determines who we become in the process.  If we choose to be a victim, we have no power and will remain stuck.  If we accept responsibility for our circumstances, we have the power to reflect, makes changes, and move forward.    

Our choices and decisions have a cumulative effect that ultimately determines who we become in the process.

  Here is a sample from livestrong.com.

What is accepting personal responsibility?
Accepting personal responsibility includes:
* Acknowledging that you are solely responsible for the choices in your life.
* Accepting that you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think.
* Accepting that you choose the direction for your life.
* Accepting that you cannot blame others for the choices you have made.
* Tearing down the mask of defense or rationale for why others are responsible for who you are, what has happened to you and what you are bound to become.
* The rational belief that you are responsible for determining who your are, and how your choices affect your life.
* Pointing the finger of responsibility back to yourself and away from others when you are discussing the consequences of your actions.
*Realizing that you determine your feelings about any events or actions addressed to you, no matter how negative they seem.
* Recognizing that you are your best cheerleader; it is not reasonable or healthy for you to depend on others to make you feel good about yourself.
* Recognizing that as you enter adulthood and maturity, you determine how your self-esteem will develop.
* Not feeling sorry for the “bum deal” you have been handed but taking hold of your life and giving it direction and reason.
* Letting go of your sense of over responsibility for others.
* Protecting and nurturing your health and emotional well being.
* Taking preventive health oriented steps of structuring your life with time management, stress management, confronting fears and burnout prevention.
* Taking an honest inventory of your strengths, abilities, talents, virtues and positive points.
* Developing positive, self-affirming, self-talk scripts to enhance your personal development and growth.
* Letting go of blame and anger toward those in your past who did the best they could, given the limitations of their knowledge, background and awareness.
* Working out anger, hostility, pessimism and depression over past hurts, pains, abuse, mistreatment and misdirection.

The chart below describes the process of accepting personal responsibility when “stuff” happens to us.   It comes from “The Power of Personal Accountability” by Mark Samuel and Sophie Chiche.  In each situation, we have the choice to either enter the accountability loop or the victim loop.  The victim loops keeps us trapped but the accountability loop leads to freedom.  The best part is that at any point, a “victim” can choose a different path and enter the accountability loop, which ultimately leads to healing and growth. 

This is one of my favorite illustrations because it communicates so clearly the process of personal accountability and the path to growth.  Which path do you choose?

At the end of the day, each of us owns the pink slip to our life.  Take ownership and move forward!

I gave my wife this hanging plant/flower arrangement as a gift for Mother’s Day.  I’ve been enjoying taking care of it along with the lawn and other plants in our yard.  Each morning as I add water, I look for new growth.  It amazes me how the right combination of elements can come together to create growth.  

As I’ve said with other posts, I believe this is true with people.  I’ve noticed over the years that amazing things can happen in a person’s life when they are in an environment that contains the right ”elements”.  I started to wonder what that list of elements might look like and kazam, another blog entry.  Much of the personal growth material I encounter is oriented toward achievement.  What I’m talking about here is just “being”; growing into your best self.  Being a better person, husband, wife, father, son, daughter, employee, neighbor, etc!

This is by no means an exhausive list, it’s just my attempt on a Wednesday night to capture some thoughts.  This list will probably grow as I think of more elements and update this post.

• Love - This just makes sense.  Love is at the heart of it all — the most basic element like water or air.  Without it, we fade quickly and with it, we flourish.  To love and be loved is one of the most basic of human needs.  I’ve discovered that love can make up for many other missing elements.  Love is a the super ingredient in personal growth.  God is love.
• Safety and Security - We all need to feel safe in order to thrive.  Fear and uncertainty stifle growth.  Soldiers in war who live with extreme violence can suffer from post tramatic stress syndrome when they return home.  This lack of safety puts us in a mode of constant alert.  It’s difficult to relax and concentrate on anything other than survival when you are feeling unsafe.  On the contrary, security and safety creates a peace and calm that allows people to relax and focus on broader things like developing, exploring, creating, and connecting.
• Encouragement- We all need to be encouraged.  Encouragement can help you to have faith in yourself or faith in others.  Encouragement can help you to push harder or try something new.  Encouragement from another person validates us in a way in which we can’t validate ourselves.  Encouragement is like rocket fuel for personal growth.
• Vision- Without a vision, people parish–we all need a vision.  What’s your vision?  Being in an environment where it’s OK to imagine and dream is necessary for growth.  Dreaming dreams, setting goals, and then working to achieve them is so powerful.  It’s like climbing a mountain-one foothold at a time.  Mountain climbers are amazing.  It appears as if they are barely moving as they climb up the face of a cliff -but look were they end up!  Don’t be afraid to dream big! 
• Acceptance - This helps us improve our sense of self– to relax and just be ourselves.  When we are free to be ourselves, we can learn more about who we really are.  Pretending to be someone else doesn’t work in the long run.  Also, accepting others helps us to ultimately accept ourselves.
• Room to Grow- We all need room to grow in our own time and in own way.  Giving someone space to do this is truely giving them a gift.  We all grow at different rates and in different seasons (metaphorically).  For some, growth happens in the spring.  For others, it’s in the fall.   For some, they are dormant through the winter and come to life after the snow melts.  Everyone is different.  I believe that adolescents and young adults need this kind of freedom in order to figure out who they are.   College can be that season for some– a place to learn, grow, make mistakes, and be challenged along the way.  It took me a while to figure things out.  There’s plenty of time–give yourself and others room to grow.  
• Feedback - We all need feedback that helps us see who we are.  Some call this mirroring–when others provide  feedback to you.  This reflection process allows us to gain a better understanding of who we actually are.  It’s healthy to have a view of yourself that is close to the way others see you.   Distrubed people have a big gap between their perception of themselves and other peoples perception of them.  Feedback helps us to move forward in the right direction.
• New Experiences -   I’ve heard that the more experiences preschool children have (seeing things, going places, etc.), the easier it is for them to learn when they start school.  Exposure to lots of things stimulates the brain.  Stimulation is good and promotes growth.  Try something new, it’s good for you.   We all need input in order to produce better output.
• Challenge- Without challenges, we become complacent.  There are lots of mountains to climb and rivers to cross.  Being challenged helps us to be become better, stronger, more able, more skilled, etc.  It’s like the Army slogan that says, “be all you can be”.  Embrace a good challenge–lean into it!
• Trust - Without trust, we live in a suspicious world that is dark, dreary and sad.  With trust, we connect with others and experience life as it is meant to be.  Trusting allows our hearts to grow.
•  Other People- We all need people in our lives in order to grow–this is how we are wired.  Living in community provides us the opportunity to work together and learn from each other.  This process helps remove our rough edges– like stones in a tumbler;  they all come out smooth.  Individually we have limitations but together we can do most anything.   In a marriage, both partners combine their strengths as they build a life together.  Never underestimate the power of other people in your life to help you grow.  Hang out with people who will lift  you up instead of pulling you down.  Learn from others who are ahead of you in their journey.  Take advantage of opportunities to be mentored and to mentor others.  It takes a village.
• Giving- Learning to give helps us all to see past ourselves.  Most of us tend to gravitate toward comfort and self.  Giving of ourselves to others can be an eye opening experience.  Through the experience of giving, we step outside of ourselves and see the world from difference viewpoints and perspectives.  We live in a very narcissistic society.  As a result of this, giving does not come naturally for most.  Learning to give is good for the soul.  It helps prevent selfish behavior that shrinks our world instead of expanding it.  Plus, the  more we give, the more we receive.
• Weeding - I’ve noticed that I need to remove the dead flowers from the hanging flower arrangement in order to make room for the new growth.  Dead flowers take life energy away from the plant–they need to be removed so that the energy can go to the living flowers.  What an amazing parallel to our own lives.  From time to time we need to take inventory, re-evaluate, and make course adjustments.  Weeding can be hard but the benefits out weigh the pain. Like a ship on a journey, a small navigational error can have significant consequences.   Take time to check your course.  Make time to clean out your “dead flowers” and get rid of things that slow you down  taking up unnecessary emotional space in your life.  Re-evaluation is a necessary part of growing.  It’s an iterative process–we need to keep circling around and checking status. 
• Humor- Laughing is good for the soul.  In fact, medical evidence suggests that it’s good for your health too.  Life has a way of getting way too serious and humor helps to balance things out.   We all need to laugh more at ourselves, others, and the circumstances around us.  Laughter is contagious so spread it around and never take yourself too seriously.

We all can flourish in the right environment.  What’s your environment like?  Which elements are there, which ones are missing?   Can you think of more?   Post a message and let you know if any of this resonates with you.

Carpe diem is a phrase from a Latin poem by Horace (See “Source” section below). It is popularly translated as “seize the day”. The general definition of carpe is “pick, pluck, pluck off, gather” as in plucking, although Horace uses the word in the sense of “enjoy, make use of, seize.”   Wikipedia

Horace (Roman poet), was communicating that we should “eat, drink, and be merry” – an Epicurean approach to life. 

To me, this saying communicates that life is short and we need to appreciate each and every day.  Time is lived in the present –minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.  Once a day is over, it’s over FOREVER and can never be lived again.  We only have so many days in our life SO we need to make them all count.  The future is uncertain, and the past cannot be changed so all we really have is the present. 

As I grow older I’m less inclined to spend a day on the couch because there is so much to see and do.  For me, life is more about experiences and less about stuff.  Don’t get me wrong, I like my toys but in the end they will break.  What really matters are our relationships and experiences.   

So …

• Invest time in those you love
• Make plans
• Challenge yourself
• Set goals
• Push harder
• Play harder
• Go farther
• Live stronger
• Don’t be afraid
• Love more
• Play more
• Give more
• Help others
• Let go
• Trust more
• Be vulnerable
• Create something new
• Discover something new 
• Try something new
• Take time to smell the roses
• Share more
• Forgive easily
• Give others grace
• Finish well

We never know when life will end  … so, CARPE DIEM!

Recently, I’ve been working on improving the condition of my lawn.  In another post, I described an automatic watering timer that has made all the difference.  In just a few weeks, my lawn is fuller and greener.   

The key to a green lawn is consistent watering and care.  Not too much water, and not too little–just the right amount.  Combined with sunshine and good soil, all of the elements come together to support growth. 

So what does all of this have to do with life?  Well, I’ve been thinking about some lessons I’ve learned in caring for my lawn.

• The results that come with concentrating focus on a single goal.
• The power of daily consistency and follow through.
• The cumulative result of daily neglect and procrastination.
• The power of a simple plan.
• The need for patience.
• The fun of applied technology.
• The joy of watching something improve.

Personal growth requires “all the elements”–just like a green lawn.  This would include things like safety, security, love, and support.  Valuable lessons can be learned from nature.  Watching a brown lawn come to life is proof that daily focus, effort, and the right combination of elements can provide amazing results.  What are you focusing on?

My son and I watched Air Force One land at Long Beach Airport on March 18th as President Obama arrived for a visit to Southern California.  We waited with lots of other people in a parking lot next to the runway until we saw the President’s plane appear in the distance–very exciting.  What a beautiful plane.  Did you know that  AF1 was orange during the Eisenhower years?   The beautiful blue design came later during Kennedy’s Presidency. 

The presidential call sign was established for security purposes during the administration of Dwight D. Eisenhower. The change stemmed from a 1953 incident where an Eastern Airlines commercial flight (8610) had the same call sign as a flight the president was on (Air Force 8610). The aircraft accidentally entered the same airspace, and after the incident the unique call sign “Air Force One” was introduced for the presidential aircraft.

Thought I would share one of my favorite songs with you during this Easter season.  ”Easter Song” by Keith Green.