Do Real Men Really Eat Quiche?

Gender Confusion From A Male Perspective

I’ve been thinking about men and women’s roles in 2008, realizing that there have been many significant changes in the last 100 years, particularly the last 50.  For hundreds, maybe even thousands of years, men and women have operated within roles that were defined by culture, biology, and the environment.  To put it simply, men have been focused on hunting and providing while women have been focused on child rearing and caring for the home. 

With the growth of modern cities and the industralization of society (less agricultural based), things have changed.  Urban man is no longer hunting and farming and urban woman is no longer focused exclusively on the family and home.  Both roles are changing — BIG TIME. 

Here are some of my thoughts:

• Women’s roles have changed more than men’s roles.  This is very confusing for men.  Many jobs, tasks, and responsibilities are now gender neutral.  Women can do many things that men can do–in some cases, even better.  This has the potential to give men a sense of insecurity–striking at the heart of the male ego.   Some examples are:
  • Men and women now have jobs in fields that have been typically male dominated.  This would include jobs like airline pilots, policeman, firefighters, doctors, lawyers, computer technicians, and even astronauts.
  • Men and women now compete against each other in sports, academics, and the workplace.   
  • Men and women both fight and die in war (at least in the US Military).
• Technology has changed things too
  • Women now have more more control over their bodies through birth control and hormone supplements.   Some birth control medication even gives women the choice to limit their menstral cycles.  Women now have more freedom from their physiologically.
  • Men and women have freedom from domestic duties with the introduction of washing machines, dryers, permanent press clothing, dish washers, microwaves, automatic sprinkler systems, self propelled vacuum cleaners, automatic timers, computers, etc.  Now running a home is much easier and suited for both male or female.
  • Women can now have children without men through in vitro fertalization and other technologies.
• The biological factor plays less of a part today
  • Male strength has less importance in society.  If women need something fixed or lifted, they can hire someone.  In fact, many women would rather to hire someone anyway instead of asking their husband or other male person for help. 
  • Having children is less female.  Now more then ever before, children rearing is shared by both men and women.  Men play a much more significant role in raising their children.  Gone are the days of handing out cigars while mom and the nurses deal with child delivery.  Women who can’t bear children can adopt.
• The balance of power has changed
  • Men no longer automatically dominate at work, in the community, and at home. 
  • More women are assuming roles of power in corporate America and national politics.  Hillary Clinton gave the U.S. Presidency a good run.  Men are more likely to have a female boss in 2008.
  • Couples need to decide what their power balance will be since roles are no longer assumed by gender.
• The family has changed
  • Fewer intact families as a result of higher divorce rates
  • The definition of “family” has changed with the increase of same sex marriages, single parent families, etc.
• Economic factors have changed
  • In many homes, men are not the sole providers for their families
  • In some families, the wife makes more than her husband
  • Our economy is based now on two income families which means that most women need to work in order to provide for their families.
• And to make things even more confusing
  • The definition of marriage being redefined - same sex marriages, etc.
  • Emergence of the Metro Sexual
  • The gay influence in the media and culture.

From my view, women are becoming less feminine and men are becoming less masculine.  Our culture seems to be moving more toward a unisex view of people.  It’s too bad because I think we should celebrate the differences between men and women and not try to make all things equal. 

What does it mean for me personally?  Like most men, I’m trying to navigate this strange new world.  It means trying to balance my masculinity along with the changes in our culture –being careful not to assume anything when it comes to gender roles.   What do you think?  What does it mean for you?