People Who Solicit In Public Places

There is nothing more annoying than walking out of a grocery store and getting accosted by some unshaven grungy guy asking for donations to his fake charity.  If you ask for ID, he’ll show you some kind of crumpled up paper ID in a dirty plastic sleeve for an organization that you’ve never heard of–hmm, I think I’ll pass. 

For some reason, stores are unable to do anything.  Why is this so?  You’d think they would have a say over what happens on their own property. 

It really bothers me that stores just post signs saying things like “please ignore these people and they will go away“.  So far they aren’t going away and it’s a problem.  

And then there are those annoying people with petitions asking for signatures.  They are everywhere.  Did you know that many are getting $1 for each signature they obtain?  No wonder they are so pushy.  Since stores aren’t doing anything, it is time to take matters into our own hands.

I have an idea.  Let’s turn the tables on these people!  I think it would be fun to really annoy them while they are trying to annoy other people.  Here’s what I’m thinking.

1. Have girl scouts keep asking them to buy their cookies.
2. Have street dancers start dancing right next to them with lots of loud, annoying music
3. Have rappers follow the street dancers
4. Have Jehovah Witnesses follow the rappers.
5. Have TV news reporters interview them about their charity.  They could ask lots of probing questions. 
6. Have people in power chairs run over their feet
7. Have gardeners with loud leaf blowers circle around their area for hours.
8. Start a water fight in front of them.
9. Have a group of illegal aliens ask them for work.
10. Have a group of global warming people setup a table next to them and start talking about “the cause”.
11. Park a bus right in front of where they are standing and keep the motor running
12. Stand across from them with a megaphone and keep announcing, “Do not listen to this person, his organization hurts animals…”
13. When they stop you, try to sell them something.  Ask them if they would like to buy your peanut butter since you purchased the wrong brand.
14. Setup your own table across from them and compete.
15. Ask them if they would like to take a survey.
16. Tell them you are with a temp agency and would like to get them a job.
17. If they are in front of Target, give them a Target job application.  
18. Quietly tell them you are with the FBI and will be watching them.
19. Setup a barrier around them that shields people walking past them.
20. Tie up a bunch of snarling dogs next to them.
21. Play Wayne Newton sings over and over and over and over.
22. Keep driving by, honking your horn and yelling things out the window.
23. Have a bunch of foreign people keep stopping  by to ask for directions.
24. Have a bunch of old people keep stopping to just talk and complain about how much things cost now. 
25. Have Army recruiters pester them about signing up.
26. Have the Red Cross stop by to sign them up for blood donations.

If the stores aren’t going to do anything, it’s time to take matters into our own hands.  These people have got to go and this might help.  Your thoughts?